Why is everything so hard? Living a life out of alignment

Written by: My Chakra Life - Jun 30th, 2020

I believe that anxiety is our body’s way of letting us know we could be living out of alignment with our goals, dreams, values and true beliefs. And, in order to really get under its skin, we need to go deeper, listen to what it is trying to tell us, work out where the misalignment is, and make some changes.

Simply ignoring it and hoping it will go away is not an effective long-term strategy!

Believe me – I tried!

When we are living in total flow and alignment with our values our lives feel effortless, everything seems to fall into place, your hair looks great and you feel connected and alive.

When we drop out of alignment, it’s the opposite.

Knowing what I know now when I look back to the time in my life when my anxiety had become so debilitating I was having near-daily panic attacks and felt I had to leave my job, I can see clear areas where I was living out of alignment with my values.

But it’s not always easy to see the mismatches when you are in the middle of it.

Which is why when you experience prolonged anxiety, it could be worth looking at your life to see if there are any standout areas of misalignment you could take action to remedy.


Why are values important anyway?

Your values are a set of principles by which you live your life and make your decisions. They come from your underlying beliefs and understanding of socially or individually accepted ideas of right and wrong.

They are your compass.

Living life in alignment with your values feels authentic… congruent… powerful.

Like you are doing the things you are meant to do, in the way you are meant to do them.

A belief has to be very long-held and powerful to become a value.

When your very powerful subconscious mind believes something to this extent, and your life does not support this belief – it’s going to feel uncomfortable.

Very uncomfortable.

Why is everything so hard? Living a life out of alignment.


Living out of alignment

I have a very clear understanding of my core values. Now. Probably less so ‘all those’ years ago.

I had just landed a great job and I was flying high. I was so excited to begin this new chapter of my career.

But when I arrived, it felt uneasy from the start.

One of my values is harmony. I don’t deal with conflict super well and I like my relationships to be happy and harmonious.

Straight away I noticed a lot of tension.

Let’s just say somebody else in the department thought they should have got the job I had been given… and they reported to me! Awkward doesn’t even come close!

Another of my values is ‘teamwork’. I like to feel supported in a team and will move hell and high water to support my people.

But in this place? I felt like people were waiting for me to fail (one of them definitely was!!!). I constantly felt like I was being ‘hung out to dry’.

Another of my values is fun! Hey – I’m fun!

All this tension? It was stealing my joy!

I can see now how all this was the perfect recipe to create anxiety! I quickly came to associate work with anxiety, lack of support, tension, no fun! And a powerful anxiety response was born!

Why is everything so hard? Living a life out of alignment

How do I know if I’m out of alignment?

The first thing you need to do is identify your five or so core values – click here for a long (but not exhaustive) list!

Once you have your values mapped out, create two lists entitled ‘In Alignment’ and ‘Out of Alignment’.

Think about where in your life you’re living in or out of alignment with those values. Start writing and see what comes up for you.

Are there any patterns?

Are you totally aligned outside of work, but not in work?

Do you feel totally aligned when you are alone and can do your own thing, but not when you’re in groups of people ‘going with the flow’?

Brainstorm some ways you can live more in alignment with your values.

You don’t have to take any action – unless you want to.

Just come up with alternative ways to be or act in certain situations. It is freeing to think about all the different possibilities! If you do feel confident enough to adopt one or two of the changes, go for it, but do not force anything.

E.g. you don’t feel your value of ‘creativity’ is being met because you don’t have time to finish the projects you’ve had on the go for ages! How can you make time? Can you buddy up with a ‘crafty’ friend for creative accountability? Take a course you won’t sack off?

Remember, you don’t have to live every single value in every single situation!

That would be quite a feat!

Balance is key.

If most of your values are met most of the time, you will be doing pretty well.

I’d love to know how you get on with the exercise and whether you’re living mostly in or out of alignment with your values. Hit me up and let me know!

Why is everything so hard? Living a life out of alignment


Let’s talk…

If you feel you would like to do some more work around your values or any anxiety you might be feeling, drop me a line and let’s have a chat. I have opened up some spaces in my calendar for my new Chakra Power Programme.

It is a four-week programme, delivering four high impact, one-hour (ish), 121 sessions designed to pinpoint and release anxiety from the body.

A mixture of coaching techniques, meditation, and the Power of the Chakra System, each session will be guided by your experience of the anxiety in your own body.

You will feel the relaxing, calming benefits immediately, and each session will build on the last to create a sense of conscious, calm, confidence moving forward into every area of your life.

I really would love to tell you all about it!


What next?

Hi there, my name’s Kathryn and I’m an Anxiety Release Coach at My Chakra Life.

My mission is to help women live anxiety-free; reconnecting with their inner light, so they can shine in their career or business with CONSCIOUS, CALM, CONFIDENCE.

Over the last ten years, I have honed and tweaked the tools and techniques which worked for me, into my three-stage Anxiety Release Process:

  • CONSCIOUS: gain clarity around anxious feelings, your life, and the actions that brought you here; and how you would like to feel instead.
  • CALM: understand how to access your calm inner state at will throughout your day, no matter what you face.
  • CONFIDENT: know that you are capable of living a life full of joyful awareness and feel totally assured in your ability to create it.

Why not join us in our Facebook Group – our community for creative women learning to live anxiety-free, reconnect with their inner-selves, and shine in their career or business with conscious, calm, confidence.

Or you can download my guide: ‘Journal your way to CONSCIOUS, CALM, CONFIDENT‘ to give you a little ‘Consciousness Jumpstart’!

Keep up to date with our blogs and if there is anything you would like to know or anything I can help you with in relation to learning to live anxiety-free, please let me know.

*Disclaimer: The meaning of ‘anxiety-free’ will be different to each person I work with. I further explore what anxiety-free means to me in this blog. Each client commits to attending the number of sessions and to completing the work required in each programme. Living your own anxiety-free life will be a long-term pursuit and will require continued commitment after the programme is finished.