Confession time – sometimes my ‘anxiety’ makes me feel ‘special’.
Say what now?! I know it seems weird, right?
But in reality, any mental state or limiting belief we cling on to must be ‘giving us something’. It may not be immediately obvious (which is why we need to do the work, right?!), but we must be getting something out of it, otherwise, we would let it go.
Even if it’s just keeping us safe and stopping us from stepping outside our comfort zone. We get something from retaining that state or that belief.
My coach spoke to me recently about the Six Basic Human Needs, as defined by Tony Robbins:
4: Love & Connection
I hadn’t heard of this before, so I set off to investigate and it made a lot of sense to me,
in direct relation to my anxiety.
Each of us places these significances in a different order. Here is Tony Robbins’ test you can take to find out which order you place them in. Anyone who knows me will know I cannot resist a quiz!
And this is a pretty enlightening quiz!
For me, ‘significance’ is smack bang at the top on my list of needs, and I know I got a lot of that significance from my work – even going back to my school days!
I was driven, a high achiever – I liked doing a good job and (perhaps most importantly) getting praised and recognised for doing it! I even liked a fancy job title and a nice company car. I liked being the one people came to with questions and I liked the social aspects of going to work and having a job.
Until one day, anxiety stole that from me.
It stole the joy I found in my work.
It stole the joy I got from social situations.
It stole the joy I derived from being looked up to and consulted.
It stole the joy I felt in standing out.
All of those situations suddenly transformed from my sources of significance to become my panic triggers.
I now understand that not only did anxiety steal my significance, but it also replaced it.
Suddenly I couldn’t do lots of things… because of my anxiety.
All those things other people do? All those things that work for them?
Yeah, they’ll be no good for me, cos, you know – anxiety.
Anxiety did make me special. It gave me back my significance.
Or so it seemed in a twisted, super-unhealthy way.
But what a shitty way to feel special!
My razor-sharp wit for example!!! 🤣
My rapidly greying hair (retained by choice I might add!), which I tell myself looks like highlights!
My desire to help other women like me.
My spiritual practice and newfound faith in the future.
My love of learning.
And my ability to knit a kick-ass ombre baby blanket! See below for evidence!
These are the things that make me special.
These are the things that make me – me.
I can look back on my anxiety as giving me something ‘special’.
It set me on my path to self-discovery and learning. If it wasn’t for anxiety, maybe I’d be a
burnt-out CEO with a fabulous car, but no spiritual life – who knows?
But I am where I am – here and happy.
I realise now anxiety doesn’t give me my significance… it bloody well stole it! But I have worked hard
and developed the tools I needed to go ahead and steal it right back!
If you would like to learn about how reclaimed and fell back in love with my life, please get in touch – I’d love to share it with you!
Hi there, my name’s Kathryn and I’m an Anxiety Release Coach at My Chakra Life.
My mission is to help open-minded professional women who want to transform their relationship with anxiety so they can fall back in love with their work and life.
Over the last ten years, I have honed and tweaked the tools and techniques which worked for me, into my three-stage Anxiety Release Process:
Why not join us in our Facebook Group – our community for creative women learning to live anxiety-free, reconnect with their inner-selves, and shine in their career or business with conscious, calm, confidence.
Or you can download my guide: ‘Journal your way to CONSCIOUS, CALM, CONFIDENT‘ to give you a little ‘Consciousness Jumpstart’!