Remember: Confidence is a Skill, not a Personality Trait

Written by: My Chakra Life - Aug 18th, 2020

In order to gain confidence, step outside our comfort zones and do the things we know we need to do in order to create the life we want, we need to take action. Action is the catalyst for confidence – the more action you take, the more progress you make, the more you celebrate each success, the more you grow in confidence.

Simple, right?!

Kind of!

As we know, the primitive mind loves consistency.

It loves everything to stay the same.

‘Keeping you alive’ becomes a whole lot easier if the landscape never changes.

But our modern landscape is always changing.

Which is leading to higher and higher anxiety levels.

So, how do we comfortably create the change we need to create in order to live and love our lives?

Take action.

It doesn’t have to be eye-watering, panic-inducing, massive life-changing action either.

In fact, I prefer to break it down into teeny weeny, non-panic-inducing baby steps, so we can soothe our primitive mind into thinking – everything’s the same, it’s all fine!


Remember: Confidence is a Skill, not a Personality Trait


So, what kind of action creates confidence?

The other thing about action is to take aligned purposeful action.

I believe when we are not in alignment with our goals, values, vision, and mission, we feel out of whack, lack energy and become anxious – and this is basically where all our problems started, right?!

So, small, aligned action every day builds confidence.


Child taking baby steps


But how do we know the action is aligned?

This comes from your inner knowing. Your ability to connect to your intuition and feel the reactions in your body.

We are so used to looking outside ourselves for answers, confirmation and confidence that we forget, we have a ‘Magic 8 Ball’ inside us which will point us in the right direction.

Now, as someone who struggles with anxiety, I also struggle to connect with this power inside me.

I often have strong physical and emotional ‘anxiety’ reactions to thoughts, plans, actions – all kinds of things.

And sometimes, I struggle to know if I should do the thing because it scares/excites me enough to indicate growth and moving out of my comfort zone (in which case, hell yes – go do it!); or if it is my anxiety trying to keep me safe (thank you, but I got this!); or if it’s my intuition screaming – hell no – do not do this thing!

I still struggle with this every day.


Magic 8 Ball - Go!


An ‘Easy’ Exercise…

An easy exercise to check-in with your inner ‘compass’ is simply to drop into your body in a relaxed state and really feel what is happening there when you think about the action.

Initially, it may feel like anxiety, but if you can allow that feeling to ‘just be’, be kind to yourself and sit with it, you might find it morphs into something else.

This is where the gold is.


Notice your body…

Sometimes (without conscious effort or knowledge) our body will react to the thought… a smile might appear on our lips… our chest opens up… or our shoulders hunch down… our brow furrows.

All these reactions are worthy of notice.

These days, when I need to make a plan or a decision, I check in with my body and see how it feels.

Yes, the anxiety comes up, but allowing it to be there, thanking it and waiting for the real answer, usually works.

And yup – it takes practice and patience.

If you have more time and/or need to tackle something big or make a bigger decision, below is a meditation that can really help you connect.


Remember: Confidence is a Skill, not a Personality Trait.


Meditation to Connect with your Third Eye

Get comfortable and relax – assume an upright, alert seated position with your shoulders dropping naturally and your chest open.

Use whatever tools you usually use to meditate or enter relaxation – music, chanting, silence, focusing on your breath. Do this for ten minutes or so and make sure you are nice and relaxed.

Now, I want you to focus on your Third Eye Chakra – in the centre of your forehead, see and feel a beautiful indigo/purple ball of light about the size of a tennis ball.

It is calming and soothing and makes you feel so secure.

Say in your mind… “I see everything I need to see… I find all the answers I need within.”

Sit with those words for a few moments, repeating as necessary. Then think about the action you need to take or the decision you need to make.

Surround yourself with the purple light emanating from your forehead and continue to lightly focus on the issue with which you need guidance.

Remain in this space for as long as feels comfortable.

To finish, draw up the purple light gradually back to your forehead where you watch it reduce to the size of a tennis ball once more.

Thank your inner light for any guidance you have received or will receive and open your eyes.

That felt good, right?

Now grab your journal and write! Did you get answers right there and then?

Amazing! Get it all down.

Guidance may well come to you during the meditation, immediately afterwards or in the hours or days that follow.

Stay alert and look for signs, messages and people who can help you. Note things down in your journal.

When the time comes and you feel ready, look at everything you have written and feel into the decision.

Then – commit to it and do it!


Remember: Confidence is a Skill, not a Personality Trait.


I hope this helped you to understand the need to take aligned action to build and flex your confidence muscle! I’d love to hear how you get on in with the meditation – it’s one of my personal favourites.

As part of my 90-day 121 programme, once we have moved through ‘Conscious’ and ‘Calm’, we get to ‘Confidence’, which contains this information and exercises – plus a whole lot more!

If you’d like to discuss building a plan to develop your confidence skills, drop me a line and let’s connect. Or jump into our Facebook Group and join the conversation there. and let’s jump on a cal


What next?

Hi there, my name’s Kathryn and I’m an Anxiety Release Coach at My Chakra Life.

My mission is to help open-minded professional women who want to transform their relationship with anxiety so they can fall back in love with their work and life.

Over the last ten years, I have honed and tweaked the tools and techniques which worked for me, into my three-stage Anxiety Release Process:

  • CONSCIOUS: gain clarity around anxious feelings, your life, and the actions that brought you here; and how you would like to feel instead.
  • CALM: understand how to access your calm inner state at will throughout your day, no matter what you face.
  • CONFIDENT: know that you are capable of living a life full of joyful awareness and feel totally assured in your ability to create it.

Why not join us in our Facebook Group – our community for creative, professional women learning to live anxiety-free, reconnect with their inner-selves, and shine in their career or business with conscious, calm, confidence.

Or you can download my guide: ‘Journal your way to CONSCIOUS, CALM, CONFIDENT‘ to give you a little ‘Consciousness Jumpstart’!

Keep up to date with our blogs and if there is anything you would like to know or anything I can help you with in relation to learning to live anxiety-free*, please let me know.

*Disclaimer: The meaning of ‘anxiety-free’ will be different to each person I work with. I further explore what anxiety-free means to me in this blog. Each client commits to attending the number of sessions and to completing the work required in each programme. Living your own anxiety-free life will be a long-term pursuit and will require continued commitment after the programme is finished.